Funny Quotes Status For Whatsapp

life is short…smile while you still have teeth.

Phones are better than girlfriends, At least we can switch off.

Eat…sleep….regret……repeat.

I love my job only when I’m on vacation.

You have to be ODD, to be number ONE.

When nothing goes right..!! Go left.

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy saving mode.

AwesoME ends with ME and Ugly starts with U.

Born to express and not to impress.

Teachers call it cheating, students call it teamwork.

Just saw the most smartest person when i was in front of the mirror.

Someone writes “Urgent Calls Only”. Don’t get it… Are you in the police or ambulance service.?

Someone’s status is “Driving” since 5 days. I guess he reached Dubai.

God created the sleep, and the devil created an alarm clock.

Brain is the best worker,When you can use it

God is really creative , i mean ..just look at me

Hey,you are reading my status again ?

WARNING!! I know karate …..and some other words!!!

A broken promise is as good as a lie .

Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

Autocorrect is like that person who just graduated college and think they know everything.

Never laugh at your wife’s choices… you’re one of them .

We Live in Generation Where, “Deleting history is more important than creating history “

I’m cool but global warming made me hot

Error: status unavailable

having 1 child makes you a parent having two makes you a referee.

Etc= End of thinking Capacity.

Do You Want To Go Out With Me? (A) Yes (B) A (C) B.

No guts, no glory, no brain, same story

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.

What happens if a doctor’s wife eats an apple a day?

Girls use photoshop to look beautiful.. Boys use photoshop to show their creativity.

Never make eye contact while eating a banana.

People that Change Love status after 30 Sec… GF is the Reasonp

70% boy Have GF ,other Have Brain!

3 Mistake done by everyone ..Whatsapp,Facebo

i’m tired, i need money

im 99.9% sleepy all day

I just want a boy that’s gonna say he loves me without my makeup.

When you mess up a guy’s hair, he thinks it’s cute, but when you mess up a girl’s hair, just hope you’re wearing something bulletproof.

Girls worry about the things that guys forget. Guys worry about the things that girls remember.

There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy. HER HEART.

Ladies, when you have got a king, don’t reshuffle the pack, because you might end up with a joker.

i just want a boy thats gonna say he loves me without my makeup.

If you ever need anything please don’t hesitate to ask someone else first.

By all means marry if you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.

When A Man Steals Your Wife, There Is No Better Revenge Than To Let Him Keep Her.

“A man falls in love through his eyes, a women through her ears.”

The women cries before the wedding and the man after.

Status Unavailable! Check Later

I am Waiting for GF Message!

Mans are many but money is money.

Try to say the letter “M” without your lips touching.

Learn then remove ‘L’.

Trust me you will dance- Alcohol

Installing love. ……44%. Installation failed. Error 404: install money first.

Non-urgent calls only!!

I Wish My Parents Were Like Google. They Should Understand Me Even Before I Complete.

You’re beautiful until your Photoshop 30 day trial has gone.

One wise guy invented Whatsapp… and his wife added last seen feature

Online by public demand

Give me some sunshine…! Give me some rain…! Give me a another girlfriend…! So I ENJOY once again…!

Study economics-when you’re unemployed, at least you’ll know why.

The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once!

If you love someone set them free. If they come back, set them on fire.

Sorry about those texts I sent you, last night, my phone was drunk.

I want some one to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.

Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up.

A real girl is not perfect and a perfect girl is not real.

Women’s mind is like a weather it may change anytime.

Cool thing only happen when you don’t have a camera.

i know you look on my status.

Kuch bhi Bolo But Dil???? to Chasmis Ladkiyaa hi Churatii hai.

You cry, I cry, …you laugh, I laugh…you jump off a cliff I laugh even harder!!

Smile…It confuses people..!

A party without cake is just a meeting.

The trouble with life is that there are so many beautiful women – and so little time.

Never hide your “last seen”, let people know that you’re ignoring them.

My laziness is like 8; Once it lies down it’s infinite!

The longer the title the less important the job.

If there is no chocolate in heaven…”I AM NOT GOING”.

Dear MATH, stop asking to find your X, she’s not coming back.

At least mosquitoes are attracted to me.85

If you can’t change a Girl… change the Girl.

All girls are my sisters except you.

You don’t realize how many clothes you have, until you wash them.

I’m pretty sure my prayers go directly to God’s spam folder.

I Am Not Special , I Am Just Limited Edition

Call me old-fashioned but I actually take love, sex, and feelings seriously.

She wanted a puppy. But I didn’t want a puppy. So we compromised and got a puppy.

Relationships are a lot like algebra… Ever looked at your X and wondered Y?

I’ve discovered that you can’t change people. They can change themselves.

If the speed of light 1000,000 km/s, what is the speed of dark?

You were the reason of my happiness but also the reason of my sadness

You are special…. But not for me.

You hate me, I hate you. Problem? ♥

If your brain was money, you wouldn’t have a cent

Awesome ends with Me, Ugly starts with U

Great power comes with great electricity bills.

Scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal my status

Totally available!! Please disturb me!

Not always “Available”.. Try your Luck.

Perfect boyfriend : Does not drink, does not smoke, does not cheat and also Does not exist ????

Things can change a women’s mood- 1) I love you 2) 50% Discount.

Food, Water, Sleep, Love, Whatsapp, Repeat it.

I am not virgin, My life fucks me everyday.

Virginity is not dignity, It is just lack of opportunity.

I’m totally a cheap date, I don’t pay for anything.

You can’t stop loving short girls.